The Call of our Forefathers
Komar the Boxer
His name was Komar. He was a boxer.
Komar was a boxer. No, not just a boxer, not just any boxer, he was perhaps the greatest boxer the lands have ever seen. He was an unprecedented six-time champion of the East Tyrian circuit. When the requirement to keep weapons was still in place, he was required to keep no sword in his house for he had his hands. He was said to have once halted a storm that was disturbing his rest with a single punch. He died some years ago, having been eaten by a bear. In the bear’s defence, witnesses say Komar was being a dick1 at the time.
1 Komar had allegedly claimed none in the world could beat him at his sport. After his boast, a bear came out of the forest, curled its paws into fists the best it could, and dropped into a boxing stance. Komar stared, incredulous, then began to walk away laughing when the bear roared. Komar then turned around and swung. The bear bobbed. He swung again, but the bear weaved. Komar, flabbergasted, pressed the attack but though he tried and tried, he could not land a single blow on the bear. Finally, after nearly and hour of combat, a moment came when Komar dropped his guard for but a moment, and the bear struck, felling Komar with one punch. When Komar regained consciousness he was furious. He looked around, but there was no one to be seen. He then went to the bar to drown his sorrows and there began making the most slanderous accusations about the bear, the bear’s mother, and all of bear-kind. He wandered from bar to bar that night, spreading the rudest rumors about the bear he could think of until, in one bar, one of the patrons recommended he stop. Komar punched him. A serving wench knelt at the fallen patron’s side, turned to Komar, and asked him to please leave. Komar punched her. The bear, whom Komar had been too drunk to notice when he entered, then roared at Komar from across the bar.
“And what, you stinking flea bag!” Komar is reported to have responded. “And what!”
He was then eaten.